Thursday, July 3, 2008

I did it!

I'm so happy with myself. I said I was going to sit my butt down and finish Leah's wedding invites and I did. I got them done and sent out to the printer yesterday. I feel so accomplished. It's such a great feeling know that they are off my plate. Well, for the most part anyway, I still have to approve the proof they'll send me and still type up the return address in the correct font for the envelopes.. but that's hardly anything compared to the actual invitation! Yay me, I'm starting to kick procrastination in the butt.

Tuesday night, at my weekly Mary Kay meeting, we discussed goal setting. I can't tell you how much this helped me. Like I said, I have that small little problem called procrastination. When I'm at my meetings, and I'm surrounded by such awesome and positive women, it just gets me all fired up to get my goals accomplished and get out there and do what makes me happy. So I've started a new thing. I've got a post-it note taped up at my desk that reads: "Goals for today" and underneath that I write what my goals are for that day. They are usually small for now, but that's what I'm most comfortable with. I did it yesterday and I did what my post-it note said. I accomplished my goals for yesterday.

I did another thing yesterday that I was proud of. I slept with my windows in my bedroom open. This was a huge feat for me. I have a pretty big fear of uncovered , open windows at night. Ever since I was a kid, I had this fear. I always felt like someone was outside pointing a gun at me. Funny thing: My Grandpa who was in WWII and my uncle who was in Vietnam have the same fear. They have a reason to have it, they were in a war with lots of guns! But I've never been remotely close to something like that... so I looked it up and it's called genetic memory. It when the fears of someone in a family get passed down through the heredity genes and clings to someone else. Pretty interesting. Every time I walk by an uncovered window at night, I get chills, tense my body up and brace myself for the pain of a bullet. So as soon as it gets even remotely dark out and I can't see out there, all the windows and doors get shut and covered up. Believe me, I'd like to keep the windows open at night, but I can't help it. But last night, I slept with my windows open and I slept so good. I woke up in a great mood today. I'm going to do it again tonight, but that doesn't mean I'm over my fear!!

I did have a dream last night that woke me up at 4:30 am. It was a very disturbing dream. In my dream, I was sitting on a ledge of a skyscraper. Happy as anything, just enjoying the day, taking a break from work. I was surrounded by sky scrapers and huge, tall buildings; corporate America. They were everywhere. I started to look more closely at these buildings and I noticed that there were men in business suits standing on the ledges of every building. At first I just thought they were out there enjoying the day as well, but no sooner than that thought crossed my mind did they start jumping. Grown men, corporate men all dressed in their suits and ties and briefcases, were falling all around me. All of them jumping to their deaths. Some with families at home, some single. They all just started jumping and plummeting to the sidewalks below. I woke up, my arms and legs were numb and tingly, I had a horrible sinking feeling in my chest and I couldn't fall back asleep easily at all. I haven't had a disturbing dream like that in a while. Uck..

Oh, and my hair isn't purple anymore. All brown and normal...

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